top of page
Writer's pictureRon Smedley

Building Confidence in athletes at Home


Confidence starts at home. A blog for parents of athletes.

How Your Words Shape Your Athlete’s Mindset

Our environment growing up has a profound impact on our beliefs, habits, and resilience. But this impact doesn’t stop with us—it extends to the next generation. The way we were raised influences how we, in turn, guide our children. If we’re not evolving and challenging our own limiting mindsets, future generations may inherit those same patterns, making it harder for them to realize their full potential. Growth is contagious; when we grow, we empower those around us to grow, too. In this post, we’ll explore how our upbringing influences how we raise others and why growing together is essential to maximizing everyone’s potential.


How Our Environment Shapes Us

The environment in which we grew up—our family, culture, and community—shapes our worldview, influences our confidence, and determines how we handle setbacks. Here are some key ways our upbringing impacts us:


  1. Beliefs and Mindsets: As children, we absorb beliefs from those around us. If our family valued growth, resilience, and positivity, we’re likely to carry those qualities forward. Conversely, if we grew up surrounded by negativity or limiting beliefs, we may unconsciously adopt similar attitudes and self-doubt.

  2. Coping Mechanisms: Our environment teaches us how to handle challenges. If we saw resilience and constructive problem-solving, or If we witnessed avoidance or defeatism, however, we might find it challenging to face difficulties with confidence. The way we manage stress and setbacks today often mirrors the environment we grew up in, which can shape how we guide our children in handling their own challenges.

  3. Ambition and Self-Worth: The messages we received growing up shaped our sense of what’s possible. Encouragement helps foster ambition and a belief in our abilities, while a lack of support can leave us feeling hesitant or unworthy of success. For our children, our words and actions can either reinforce a positive sense of self-worth or unintentionally plant seeds of doubt.


The Cycle of Influence: Passing It Down

Our words and behaviors as parents don’t just reflect our values; they also influence how our children see themselves and their world. If we don’t actively work to challenge and grow beyond our own limitations, those patterns can unknowingly get passed down. Here’s how we can break that cycle and create a better environment for the next generation:


  1. Lead by Example: Growth is contagious. When kids see you working on yourself—whether it’s through learning, adapting, or overcoming obstacles—they’re more likely to embrace those behaviors themselves.

  2. Focus on Process Over Results: Highlight the value of effort and improvement rather than just outcomes. By celebrating growth, you teach your child that success is about progress, not perfection.

  3. Normalize Challenges and Resilience: Talk openly about setbacks and how you work through them. When children understand that failure is a natural part of growth, they’re more willing to try, even when things feel hard.


When Kids Resist Growth: Modeling the Way Forward

It’s natural for kids to resist change or struggle with adopting a growth mindset. They may push back, lose motivation, or feel overwhelmed by expectations. This is where modeling becomes incredibly powerful. Instead of forcing growth or focusing on their resistance, demonstrate the behaviors and attitudes you hope they’ll adopt.


  • Be the Example: Show resilience in your own challenges, whether it’s sticking to a routine, pursuing a goal, or handling stress. Kids learn more from what you do than what you say.

  • Stay Consistent: Even if they seem uninterested now, your actions plant seeds that can sprout later. Consistency builds trust and creates a foundation for when they’re ready to engage.

  • Create a Positive Environment: Celebrate small wins, show empathy during tough times, and keep growth-oriented conversations light and encouraging.


Growth doesn’t always happen on our timeline, but persistence pays off. Over time, your example will influence how they see themselves and their potential.


Confidence Starts at Home

Confidence is like a muscle—it grows stronger with practice, reinforcement, and the right environment. As parents, your words and actions have the power to shape your athlete’s mindset in profound ways. By focusing on positive reinforcement, avoiding unintentional pressure, and modeling resilience, you can help your child build the self-belief they need to thrive.

It’s not just about raising great athletes; it’s about raising great humans who are ready to tackle life’s challenges with confidence and grace.

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page